Am I still that tragic teenager??

As you know from the previous post, I've been enjoying Caerphilly life again. My Dad told me that he will be redecorating my old bedroom soon, by painting over the bright orange walls, which I strangely insisted on at the age of 12, with a more neutral tone. So to prepare for this uncharacteristic bout of DIY, he asked me to clear out my wardrobes and drawers. As I have explained before, I have a habit of hoarding. It seems that this horrendous habit of mine goes back further than I thought. I found boxes and boxes of old diaries, and even old school books, including a scrap book of art work from when I was four. Incidentally, even in 1993 I had a creative streak.

Did my parents think that these scrapbooks of paintings by a

three-year-old and swimming badges from the 90s would

increase my chances of getting into University?

Oh, this painting definitely would have given my
University applications more pizazz!

Back to the diaries I found though; I really did lead a tragically insignificant teenage life. Here's a little excerpt from Tuesday 6th January 2004 (with names changed though because I am still slightly embarrassed about some of the crap I wrote about!):

 Back to normal again! Marley* is even more lush than I remember. I had English first thing and we had our coursework back and I got an A. Miss said we could re-draft them if we were on the brink of something else and I was one mark off an A*. You must think I'm mega swotty but I don't care what people think of me anymore, I'm clever and that is that. After break I had French and then P.E. Theory. I went home for lunch with the girls, as always. Then I had the best lesson of the day, Biology. I love Science and Marley sits behind me too, so I got my chance to talk to him. Swoon! Just after 6 Lilly* came to knock for me with John* and Brian* and they all came in for a bit. I swear John is so perverted. He kept going for my boobs. He always goes on about them and it creeps me out a bit. My diet went well again and I really know I will stick to it this time!

Most of the diary reads the same, basically because absolutely nothing interesting started happening in my life until alcohol was introduced a good year after I had stopped writing these pathetic accounts of my day to day life. Who did I actually think would read back on these entries and be interested in what lessons I had done well in and who I had a crush on? Though, I must admit it has proved a perfect procrastination tool and has given me a really good laugh at that girl who I really can't even remember.

What makes me laugh the most is that throughout all the entries a common theme keeps coming up. My weight. I was a girl obsessed with my weight and looking back, although I was always curvy I would give anything to have that teenage body back. I'm even bigger now and am constantly stopping and starting diets, which, evidently, I have done since I was 14. I even wrote about the Kellogs "Drop a Dress Size in Two Weeks" diet, which I had another go at, at the beginning of this year. I suppose I am still that tragic teenager deep down, I just don't make a habit of writing down all my thoughts anymore. Ummm, except on this blog. Oh Christ, I haven't changed one bit. Please excuse me while I go and over pluck my eyebrows, cry over a boy with a latent homosexuality who I think I love, and squeeze the small mountain range which is threatening to re-erupt on my chin.